


Your Drunk Thing

by poiregourmande



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Coming Out, Drunk confessions, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-15 00:03:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14147529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poiregourmande/pseuds/poiregourmande
Summary: Four times Ryan came out to Shane and Zack while he was drunk, and one time when he wasn't.





	Your Drunk Thing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Anotherlostblogger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anotherlostblogger/gifts).



> This was inspired by the (frankly terrible) movie Game Over, Man! 
> 
> Also, be warned for depictions of unresponsible alcohol abuse and be safe, kiddos.
> 
> This was a fill for my Buzzfeed Drabbles Challenge, but it got out of hand and it's so long I had to make it its own work.

**-ONE-**

  
Bourbon Street. Hotel balcony, copious amounts of alcohol, tons of beads for some reason.

The night is loud with the sounds of partygoers, the air is excessively warm, and somehow that doesn’t stop Ryan from draping himself over Shane’s shoulders. Shane enjoys the contact, his insides warm from the alcohol and his outside warm from his best friend.

  
He leans into Ryan, pulls him in closer, wondering if this is how it happens at last. How _they_ happen at last.

  
Ryan turns his head up towards Shane, gesticulating wildly with his beer bottle.

  
“Shaaaaaaane! Shane my dude, Shane, listen. Listen, alright, because there’s something I need to get off my chest.” Shane does listen, he was listening since Ryan opened his mouth, and it’s endearing how Ryan pulls on his sleeve, on the front of his shirt to get his attention.

  
“Shane,” Ryan continues, taking a deep breath, “I’m gay.”

  
Shane grips the railing with his Ryan-free hand. Is this it? This is it, isn’t it?

  
Everything he’s been waiting for? There hasn’t been a clearer moment; he has to act now.

  
Ryan turns away just in time to bend over the railing and puke all over the street below – luckily devoid of pedestrians.

  
Shane rubs Ryan’s back soothingly and walks back in to get him a glass of water.

  
He bites back a sigh. The moment’s gone.

  
  
**-TWO-**

  
The Lakers just won the championship and of course, Ryan’s being insufferable about it. Zack hadn’t had much hope of winning their bet – not with the Kings’ best player out of commission – but Ryan’s attitude still pisses him off to no end.

  
Of course, he won’t hold it against Ryan tomorrow – he knows it’s the alcohol’s fault, and really he should have known better than to make this bet with Ryan. The loser pays for the winner’s drinks all night. What a terrible idea, considering Ryan’s belligerent drunk tendencies when sports are involved.

  
Also, Zack’s broke so all his drink money goes to get Ryan increasingly unpleasant, and he can’t even get drunk to make this more bearable.

  
“Another!” Ryan hands Zack an empty beer mug, without even a _please_ or _thank you_.

  
When Zack returns with another beer, however, a change has taken place in Ryan.

  
He’s sitting alone, slumped in a booth, all their friends still crowded around the foosball table.

  
“One beer for Bergara,” Zack says, sliding in the booth to sit next to him.

  
Ryan turns his face at him, eyes dazed but smile bright. “Thanks, man. You’re a real friend.” He leans his head on Zack’s shoulder and lets out a comfortable sigh.

  
_Fuck_.

  
Zack can usually can deal pretty well with his attraction to Ryan when Ryan acts like a bro, when they’re talking about sports or drinking beer or playing video games, but if Ryan starts acting all touchy-feely? All bets are off, man.

Zack debates with himself if he should slide an arm around Ryan’s shoulders, pull him closer, maybe even kiss him? But Ryan tilts his head up at him, suddenly looking all serious.

  
“Zack, man, listen,” his words are slurred but Zack can tell it’s important. “Can I tell you a secret?”

  
“Sure, dude, anything.”

  
“Nobody knows this, I’ve never told anyone but... I’m gay.”

  
_Shit_.

  
This has the effect of a cold shower on Zack – Ryan is almost black-out drunk while he’s completely sober. This is what he’s been waiting for all this past year, yet he can’t do anything about it. He can’t take advantage of a drunken confession.

  
He tries his best to lean away from Ryan without making it look like he’s uncomfortable with Ryan being gay.

  
Fortunately he doesn’t have to find anything else to say because Ashly comes up to the table, almost as drunk as Ryan. “Bergara, up to challenge the big winner?” Her voice is shrill and pulls Zack completely out of the moment.

  
“You’re on, Perez.” Ryan tumbled out of the booth, leaving his beer and Zack behind.

  
Zack might as well drink it while it’s cold.

  
Ryan beats Ashly, goes back to being annoying-drunk, and neither of them mention the confession again.

  
  
**-THREE-**  
Zack, Ryan and Shane are sprawled on the floor, behind a Christmas tree. It’s Buzzfeed’s holiday party, in late January, and frankly Shane has had enough of festive cheer, especially when it takes the form of Ryan Bergara acting as if he just drank a vat of eggnog.

  
They’re hiding behind the tree because Freddie keeps trying to convince people to try the photo booth with her and it’s impossible to say no to Freddie Ransome. Shane is pleasantly drunk – enough that he doesn’t mind the plastic fir needles poking him in the shoulder, or Ryan’s foot poking him in the knee.

  
Zack, on the other side of Ryan, looks about as drunk as Shane feels, which is to say, a good deal less drunk than Ryan.

  
Shane does notice, with a squeeze in his chest he can’t quite identify, Zack’s hand resting on the ground right next to Ryan’s, as if waiting expectantly.

  
A ridiculous-sounding Christmas song comes on and Ryan sits up straighter.

  
“Heyyy, it’s the song from – “ he snaps his fingers, trying to remember – “what’s that movie? It’s a Christmas thing? Snape’s in it?”

  
“Die Hard?” Shane supplies.

  
“Love Actually,” Zack answers and Ryan beams.

  
“That’s it!!! Maaaan, that movie’s the bomb.”

  
Ryan is silent for a few seconds, an uncharacteristic feat when he’s that drunk. He nods to himself, then looks at Shane and Zack in turn, determined.

  
“It’s like they say in the movie,” he says so softly Shane’s not sure their were supposed to hear him. “It’s Christmas. And at Christmas you tell the truth.”

  
“It’s January 24th, Ryan,” Shane can’t help saying, but stops when Zack shoots him a dark look.

  
“I’ve never told anyone this before, but I trust you guys. I’m gay.”

  
Shane chokes on air – so that was his answer. He’d been wondering since Bourbon Street if Ryan had ignored what happened on purpose or if he just didn’t remember any of it.

  
Shane wonders idly if Ryan will remember it this time. His gaze meets Zack’s who doesn’t look surprised. Has Ryan ever confessed to him too?

  
“There you are, boys!” Freddie peers around the Christmas tree – Shane curses his long legs that peeked from under it.

  
Reluctantly, the boys follow her to the photo booth. Soon afterwards, Shane tucks a passed out Ryan in the back of a Lyft and climbs after him. Zack fist bumps him goodbye. They share a look, heavy with meaning, and Shane knows they won’t mention it unless Ryan says anything.

  
  
**-FOUR-**

  
It’s bittersweet, really. It’s a party, Zack’s supposed to be having fun and celebrating the new chapter in his and Justin’s lives. But he’s surrounded by his Buzzfeed peeps, and the only thing he can think about is how much he’s gonna miss them.

  
He’s spent the night getting steadily drunker, but Quinta cut him off when he fell into her arms, crying. Now he’s nursing a bottle of water, hanging around Shane, because although they’re friends, he knows saying goodbye to him won’t open the waterworks again.

  
Ryan drops heavily on the couch between them – it’s a small couch and he’s almost sitting on top of them. Zack tries not to think about how leaving Buzzfeed means abandoning any hopes of anything happening with Ryan.  
He takes a swig of water, trying to hide that he’s welling up.

  
“Zack,” Ryan slurs drunkenly. “Zack, now that you’re leaving, I need to tell you something. Listen, dude, listen. I can’t keep it in any longer. Shane, you’re my best friend, I want you to know too. I’ve never told anyone – “ he rests his hands on Shane’s and Zack’s knees, as if scared they’d leave him mid-confession – “but I’m gay. God it feels great to finally say it! I’m gay and I like men!”

  
Zack meets Shane’s gaze over Ryan’s head. What the hell should you do when your bro comes out to you for the third time but never remembers it?

  
They barely have time to react before Ryan curls up against Zack’s side and starts snoring.

  
“So...” Zack starts, “what should we do about this?”

  
Shane rakes a hand through his hair, an air of longing flashes on his face as he glance at Ryan’s small form between them on the couch.

  
“He never remembers, does he?”

  
“I was wondering if we should say something when he’s sober but that... that would kinda be like outing him, wouldn’t it?”

  
Shane nods. “Jesus, he’s killing me.”

  
A chuckle escapes Zack’s lips. “Same, dude.”

  
“Why didn’t you ever make a move?” Shane asks.

  
“Always figured he was into you, I mean, it’s you. Ryan-and-Shane, it’s just meant to be.”

  
“And yet.” Shane sounds bitter as he looks pointedly at Ryan snuggling up under Zack’s arm.

  
“I mean, he’s drunk. You know he falls asleep anywhere when he’s that far gone.”

  
Shane sighs. “So I guess we just wait?”

  
“Guess so.”

  
  
**- & ONE-**

  
Shane and Zack are over at Ryan’s place for movie night – they started hanging out more, just the three of them, after Zack left: Ryan and Zack missed each other and for some reason Ryan couldn’t quite surmise, Shane always wanted to tag along, even though he was never that close to Zack when they worked together.

  
They finally agree on Space Jam after a good fifteen minutes of bickering – Zack doesn’t do horror, Shane couldn’t care less about sports, Ryan is bored by historical dramas. Shane only agrees to Space Jam because he dubs the Looney Tunes ‘delightful’.

  
Ryan takes the pizza out of the oven, but no one makes a move to grab beers from the fridge, and frankly, Ryan thinks it might be better that way. For once he’d like to remember his night.

  
They start the movie and eat the pizza and is it Ryan’s imagination or are Shane and Zack both sitting closer to him than is strictly necessary?

  
He also can’t help noticing the glances they share when they think he’s not looking.

  
What’s going on?

  
Ryan pauses the movie, determined. The weight of his secret has finally reached a breaking point. He needs to tell them, and he figures maybe him confessing will push them to explain why they’ve been acting so weird.

  
He stands up, paces around the coffee table for a few seconds, to gather his courage.

  
“Guys, I have something to tell you. It’s not easy. I’ve – I’ve actually never told anyone this before.”

  
Shane and Zack share another glance but this time they look almost... amused?

  
Which, what the hell, dudes, confessing over here.

  
Ryan wrings his hands, slowly losing the wind in his sails, but he squares his shoulders and trudges on.

  
“I am gay.” A sigh of relief escapes his lips as soon as the words are out.

  
Shane and Zack are sporting twin grins, trying hard not to laugh.

  
“What the fuck, guys, I’m baring my soul over here and you’re laughing at me? Is this how you usually reacts when someone comes out to you for the first time?”

  
“For the first time!” Shane exclaims and Zack is straight-up laughing by now.

  
“Dude, you’ve come out to us like a dozen times, now.”

  
“What?” Ryan’s voice gets all high-pitched but he can’t bring himself to care right now.

  
“Yeah,” Shane shrugs, that shit-eating grin still on his face, “it’s your drunk thing.”

  
“Oh my god, at my going-away party?” Zack adds, “You wouldn’t shut up about how gay you are.”

  
Ryan feels himself turn a deep red.

  
“And you’ve never said anything when I was sober?”

  
Shane stands up, easily stepping over the coffee table with his too-damn-long legs. He rests a soothing hand on Ryan’s shoulder and Ryan tries not to melt into it, to stay on topic.

  
“It wasn’t ours to say. We couldn’t force you to reveal your secret just because drunk you can’t keep his mouth shut.”

  
Ryan rakes a hand through his hair, trying to wrap his head around the whole thing.

  
“Whoa. Guess I’m lucky drunk me chose to confide in guys I can trust, huh?”

  
Zack beams. “Anytime, bro. We’re here for you.”

  
“Although it might have been sort of a dick move from drunk me to come out at the two guys I’m crushing on.” Might as well go all in with the revelations, Ryan reasons.

  
Zack jumps to his feet as if he’d been stung. Shane whips around to look at him.

  
“Dude.” Zack says.

  
“I know, Zack.” Shane answers and Ryan has no idea what’s going on, looking from one to the other like at a tennis match.

  
“Ryan, bro, do you have any idea how excruciating this has been for us?”

  
Shane nods. “You kept dropping hints that you were into one or the other and we couldn’t do anything until you came out for real!”

  
“We took an oath.” Zack bumps his fist against Shane’s shoulder in a friendly way. “Neither of us would do anything to rush you. We’d wait until you’d made your choice, and we’d respect it.”

  
Ryan can’t believe it. His head is swimming, but one thing is clear.

  
He pulls Shane closer, extends a hand towards Zack, and waits until Zack’s joined them to press a soft kiss to both their mouths in turn.

  
He’s made his choice.


End file.
